Love ALWAYS Wins

I don’t think I ever imagined that I would write a follow-up post on a blog entry, but here I am. Viral…my post went viral! I wrote my original post while I was at my dining room table and was mad as hell after someone yelled “you’re disgusting” into my window from the sidewalk while I was feeding my children breakfast. Fast forward…and I just wrapped up an interview with Martha Raddatz in my backyard. I am completely overwhelmed by the amount of support and dialogue that my post has generated.

My blog was a safe space for me to journal, I am by no means a “blogger” (well, I suppose now I am), rather a SAHM who would journal things that interested me. Before my last entry, I am sure the majority of my page views were from my mom refreshing her screen. That being said, the overwhelming amount my post has been shared (over 10k times!) and the attention this has received is something both Jamari and I are trying to process. We were tossed into the limelight when I hit submit on my post, and without us realizing it our faces are now on thousands of screens across the country and world (thanks FS community!). We are grateful! Grateful for this opportunity to not only share our story, but open the conversation between individuals that feel that racism is a non-issue, for people to share similar stories to ours, and to bring awareness to a very, VERY concerning talking point. I didn’t expect a journalist to see my post and want an interview, but from that article, the Kansas City community has been sending lots of emails and messages to us in solidarity. There are hateful and negative comments being written on social media posts and websites, and internet trolls are salivating at the opportunity to rip my post and our story apart; but I haven’t received a single rude email, which shows people are ready for a change. The emails we’ve received highlight other interracial couples stories, families welcoming us to KC, and lots of emails asking, “how do we do better, we need to do better” (those are my favorite!). The Diplomatic Security Service never ceases to amaze me and they have checked in on us frequently, and spouses from across the world are chatting with me in support. The Army has offered immense support and personal phone calls to us and welcomed me to join their spouse groups and events. Friends and family are the reason that this blog post was seen and the reason that I now have a picture with Martha Raddatz, so THANK YOU! We have been supported by SO many random strangers with messages, and waves as we walk around our town. It’s proof that other people are aware that there is a problem, and they want to be part of the change. Please don’t think that the racist individuals have disappeared overnight, they haven’t. I am pretty sure the one changed their walking route because I haven’t seen them, but the rest still stare…but haven’t said anything. We aren’t leaving our home and moving, because that isn’t the answer. The answer is using our voice.

We need to do better, as a society. That was my message in my post and has been our message in interviews. This isn’t political, this isn't motive driven, this was an emotional post from my heart. I was tired of watching people roll their eyes at my husband when he’d hold my hand, hearing horrible racial slurs and comments towards us, I was tired of explaining to Audrey that adults were behaving inappropriately, I was disgusted with the hatred that was not only aimed directly towards Jamari but towards my babies, and I was sick of hearing, “stay with your own kind.” Before an interracial couple, we are a couple, before we are an interracial family, we are a family, and that shouldn’t need to be defended or explained; full stop.

We are not saying that racism is isolated in Kansas City suburbs and that we will never experience racism again. This is not only an issue within Kansas City, but it is also an epidemic across America and is systemic (yes, I think that is real). Going viral wasn’t anticipated, but for this short window where my blog is being looked at and people want to hear our story, I am going to use my voice to ensure that my original message is heard; my children deserve a better America. Our future deserves a change and I believe that it is happening. If one pissed off Mama has generated this much stir over racial injustice to her family, then America is ready. On that, while I have my platform, I am going to say that not all racism is bold and vocal, microaggressions of racism are equally as hurtful and damaging. It doesn’t need to be a racial slur that is yelled at someone, it could be telling someone, “you speak good English”, a store owner following a customer around the store, or the most common one I hear about Jamari, “you are a credit to the black community.” All implying an undertone of racism.

In closing, Jamari and I would like to thank every single person who has reached out. We read every message that comes our way and are trying to respond. We are thankful for the support for our family, but also the support for a change. I am not foolish enough to believe that our story changed the minds of people around us or anyone for that matter. Sadly, I am not sure our story would have been seen the way it was if Jamari had written it (FYI: I loathe white privilege). I know that this is going to continue far after our spotlight has dimmed; but what I pray and hope for is that the conversation has started. If people don’t agree and think this isn’t a problem, they at least read the article and absorbed something. I aspire for people to at least think of our story and how they would react if it was their family, and perhaps talk to a neighbor or someone that looks or thinks differently than them. America will be a much better place when we learn that hate doesn’t pave the way.